i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
