Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
