Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
