I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
