dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize