Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
