Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize