"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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