yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
