we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
