Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
