Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize