suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize