I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
