her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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