i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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