Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize