Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
