If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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