CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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