we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
sex in a hospital.. check
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
