sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
foreskin is a definite game changer
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
