He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize