some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
