Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
