singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
