If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
you never un-have a 4some
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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