best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
