I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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