just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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