im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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