My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Need sex. Gaining weight.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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