I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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