I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
