Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
