I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She even gives head with a lisp.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
