Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just found a bag of teeth...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
