What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
