i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize