rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
