You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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