Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
