I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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