I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
