my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
