there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
