He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
