My brain says no but my pants say off.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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