I cannot find my penis.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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