There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
