i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
