you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
