We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
