Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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