I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
