You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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