i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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