She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
