Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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