I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He better not be in your backpack
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize