Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
