No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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