I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
