I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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