Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have post one night stand depression
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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