Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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