All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
