I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
