chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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