do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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