I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
