That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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