so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize