Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
