Whod you bang
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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