I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
