My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
