Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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